#6 (Best Places for a Showdown)

-HAUNTED and/or ISOLATED and/or COVERED BRIDGES-

But you don’t have to take my word for it…(ba dump, BUMP!)

Guacamole

The Super Bowl is fast approaching, and we all know that the Super Bowl isn’t about commercials, halftime shows, or even football…it’s about FOOD!  Thanksgiving gives us license to eat more dinner than we ever would; Hallowe’en –> candy; Super Bowl Sunday –> SNACKS.

And one snaque rises in tastiness above the rest:  Guacamole.  I will refrain, in this case, from explaining the origin of the word “guacamole” as I am wont to do.  Look it up.

It’s easy to make, and you don’t even need a Super Bowl for an excuse!  Start with one ripe avocado (dark skin, with a nice “give” to it) or as many as you think you can eat.  I find that one makes a perfect appetizer for two people, but maybe this is your main dish, I dunno!  Halve it, skin it, just get that goopy green goodness into a bowl somehow.

Throw in some minced onion.  How much?  Well, how much do you like onion?  I’d say 1-2 Tbs per avocado.  (You can also use shallots if your hoitey is toitey enough.)  Add some fresh cilantro (washed, stems remov’d, chopp’d), again 1-2 Tbs per crazyfruit.  Squeeze in the juice of one lime.  Some people add garlic, and I supposed I consider myself some people.  Chop up a clove or two and toss it in!  Shake a bottle of hot sauce (Louisiana or other) onto the pile as many times as you’d like.  I know we’ve got a lot of flavors going on here, but it’s the Super Bowl we’re competing with!  We can make a subtle dip while we watch The Masters.

Mash up all that goodness with a potato masher if you have one, otherwise, use whatever…a fork?  Lastly, add some diced tomato.  (Maybe half as many tomatoes as avocados.)  Now gently mix it together. (We waited with the tomato so it wouldn’t get squishefied, so don’t squishefy it now!)  Serve (eat) with tasty tortilla chips!  Keep an eye on the clock so you don’t miss the halftime show!  Kittens or The Who this year, your choice.  No judgements.

SNOW

It's snowy and gray and that's winter, suckas!

The glory of snow.  It’s wonderful.  It’s magical.  It’s also a huge pain.

I don’t see snow too much.  South Texas is devoid of the white stuff.  I only get to see it once a year when I visit Kansas for the holidays.  Somehow, and I’m grateful, it has snowed during my brief week-long visit each year for the last three.  I remember growing up there and not getting too many White Christmases.  What a bunch of crap.

Snow is pure and beautiful.  It’s a great decoration to any landscape, as long as there is enough.  Sometimes the sky only gives a little, and you can still see the grass poking through.  That’s kinda ugly, especially in already ugly and depressed rural or poor places.  In that case, snow just makes it more of a hopeless Dickensian scene.

Snow is fun to have surrounding you, like when you are in a warm house heated by a fireplace, lots of hot cider or hot chocolate or hot toddies on hand, and the presence of easy-going family members.  Snow is not fun when you have to drive to the store to get supplies or get away from anyone you don’t like in a cramped house.

Snow is dangerous on the roads.  If it’s thick and deep, it’s like driving through soup, which can be fun, but that fun almost always leads to sliding into your neighbor’s mailbox…while he’s checking it.  If it’s not thick and deep, it’s deceptively easy.  You get confident.  The speed creeps up and then, blammo, you are sliding like butter on hot Teflon.  Your life flashes before your eyes, and you realize it’s not that great.  Dang.

Snowball coming at you.

Snowball fights are great.  Playing in the snow with people you like is great.  Snow makes cold days appear less cold.  I don’t know how, but that’s a fact.